Thomas Cruise...

What a fucking loser! What a fucking pansy fuck, We want to punch him,a lot, then invite our friends and family to join in. We could make a game of it. Why? Because he married Katie Holmes. How dare he? Brief research has been conducted, read and memorise. It is imperative we all know the enemy;

Full Name:
Thomas Cruise Mapother IV (pffft nice name)
Profession:
Actor (More like Fuck head)
Birthday:
07/03/1962
Hometown:
Syracuse, NY (I used to like New York....)
Education:
High School
Height:
5' 7" (This fucking guy is short!)
Weight:
201 lbs.
Career Start:
Taps (I'm sorry, what the fuck is Taps?)
Email Address:
N/A

Right. That's it. In conclusion he's a cunt. He needs a slapping with all of his "Hail Xenu, alien ruler of the Galactic Confederacy" bullshit.


Artist's impression of one of Xenu's space planes, per L Ron Hubbard's description.